I always start to day dream when people ask questions like, "What do you want to do with your life," and "where do you see yourself in five years?" Parents want us to be successful, and happy as we grow and become more and more comfortable being away from home. So I think that a lot of the time people will answer "I just want to be successful," or "I just want to be happy" to these types of questions. What does that even mean, though? They're all such relative outcomes, even if you find that as your goal it still leaves you wondering in the dark looking for something that you're not quite sure of. While training for races and other fitness related things I've learned the value of both subjective and objective goals. So, "I just want to be successful" isn't useless, but I do think that you should also ask yourself "how do I want to be successful?" That's why I ask "How do you define success," because I don't think you should learn that definition from Merriam Webster (Which if you're wondering is: the fact of getting or achieving wealth, respect, or fame. That actually makes me really sad.), from the news, or from anyone besides yourself.
Finding a personal definition of success is a burden that is constantly in the back of my mind. I'll never pretend to "have it all figured out," your definitions are constantly evolving set of values that change with your experience. So at this point success, for me, was easily defined in a quote I read. "Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." That Ghandi character has some cool insights to the world. At this point there is a lot of introspection going on in between my eyes, trying to be this or trying to be that. I'm most at ease when the trying stops and the being starts. In reference to my last post- I think that's why I had such a racer's high, because I felt a strong sense of self.
How did I get to that definition? Like I said a little above, your definitions change with your experience. Lately I've been really thankful for my experiences, all of them, good and bad. I draw from a lot of stupid little things that I'm surprised that I notice, and take those little tidbits with me. If you ever sat with me on the way home from a race you would probably hear me say something weird like, "Yeah at mile 4.3 of the run I saw this guy who seemed to be really struggling then he itched his ear and it really inspired me to keep going." Hey, whatever floats your boat right? (Okay I don't get that saying) Any way all of that brings me to the main point of my post. "Thanks-Giving."
It's a bit early for Thanksgiving, but then again I'm already eating Reeses Christmas trees so I guess I won't feel too far ahead of the game. I've lived in three different cities for substantial amounts of time, met loads of awesome, and not so awesome people and every single one I am thankful for. Each place has been a stepping stone to the next, living at home family- friends all very close within my bubble of protection. At school, a cool two and a half hours away from family, and the vast majority of my friends- I was just on the edges of my bubble. Now I'm a thousand miles from home (almost exactly) and I'm well beyond my bubble. I've met people who have made me realize how different parts of the country can be, how the schools of thought change depending on where you are. What that's taught me more than anything is that your bubble isn't a place that has certain people within it. It's your own personal bubble, because you carry everything you've been taught by the people and experiences you have had within it. So without being too redundant in saying how thankful I am for everything I've got to experience throughout my life, I just want to say thank you to everyone, ever. (Redundant sentence is redundant)It's an odd feeling to be "Proud of myself" because generally I'm always finding a place for improvement. So I don't want to call it that. I'm proud of the people who have provided experience to my bubble, I'll carry it with me forever.
After I write a blog post I always get this feeling that I'll talk to someone who read what I wrote and think that everything is some big universal mystery that I'm trying to figure out, but that's really not the case. I just think that a little looking back and trying to understand is good every now and then. So on a less dramatic note, right now I'm sitting in a coffee shop, watching two old men play chess together while drinking coffee out of their own mugs and laughing. I consider myself pretty damn successful. Whoops, that ended up dramatic too.
